Always
by MurderousPen
Summary: Donna is at her breaking point after the Library. Can the Doctor help her, or will he make it worse? Crappy summary, the story's better though.


**Right, so, anyone who knows me knows that I'm quite the Doctor/Donna shipper. Anyway, this is set right after the Library. As always, I don't own anything. Please review!**

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><p>As they made their way back to the TARDIS, the Doctor took Donna's hand, attempting to hold it as they walked, but she slipped from his grasp, putting a larger-than-normal space between the two of them. He frowned, but realized that she must need a bit of space after what happened in the Library. He still didn't know the full story - only that she had met a bloke named Lee, and she wanted to see if he was real.<p>

Although he was concerned for Donna, his thoughts kept drifting back to the mysterious Professor River Song. That impossible woman that knew his true name, called him Sweetie, and even sacrificed herself for him. Why would she do that? How did she even know his true name? The Doctor knew the answer - there was only one way anyone could know his true name - but he didn't want to face it. That was his future, apparently - he was going towards it as slowly as Time Lord-ly possible. One thought kept popping up in his mind. Why didn't Professor Song know Donna? If she was in his future, why didn't she know Donna personally? Well, somewhat personally? And why did she get that look on her face when she realized who Donna was?

The Doctor pressed the thoughts away from the front of his mind, filing it away for later. Recalling something River Song had said to him, about snapping the doors to the TARDIS open, he stopped in front of the door, looking over to see if Donna was watching him. She wasn't which concerned him. Normally, she'd be asking why the hell they weren't in the TARDIS already. Something had definitely happened in the computer world, he concluded.

Raising his hand, he took a deep breath and snapped his fingers, his eyes widening and a grin spreading across his features as the doors creaked open. He ran up the metal ramp, tossing his overcoat across one of the coral pieces and approaching the console. He waited until Donna had joined him before he snapped again, delighted when the doors closed. Oh, this was brilliant! He grinned at Donna, expecting some sort of cheeky retort, perhaps one calling him a nine hundred-year-old child, or something involving Martian. Instead, he got nothing but silence from her as she turned her back and walked down the corridor towards her room. He frowned as he realized she was walking slower than normal too, almost as if she were in a trance. Perhaps she was just tired?

The Doctor had half a mind to go after her, but he had repairs to do on the Old Girl, and she could get temperamental if he waited. Reaching into his breast pocket, he pulled out the trusty old sonic and slid under the console, whistling an old Gallifreyan tune as he worked. After a little while though, he was aware of the TARDIS giving him a mental nudge. He ignored it at first, dismissing it as her being fussy about his soldering abilities. After a minute though, he realized his ship was trying to tell him something, something important. Frowning, he slid out from under the console, standing up and tucking the sonic away. He strained his ears, listening for anything out of the ordinary. Then he heard it.

A sob. Donna.

Donna was crying. His fiery, unsinkable Donna Noble was crying. Sobbing, by the sounds of it. The evidence of her grief echoed through the TARDIS, heart-wrenching sobs of grief and pain. What had hurt his ginger like that? The Library. It must've been. She hadn't been acting strangely before the Library, and it had only been after she hadn't found Lee when she had started being so quiet. Then he realized that she wasn't being quiet, or strange. She was being broken. His Donna was broken.

He didn't like that. Not in the slightest.

The Doctor's hearts broke for his best mate as he followed her sobs down the corridor; stopping outside of what he assumed was her room. Twisting the doorknob, he pushed the door open, stepping inside and closing it behind him. There on the bed sat Donna, cross-legged and weeping, her hands gripping her hair, pulling it as sobs wracked her body. She shook, from what he didn't know.

Walking over, he sat on the edge of her bed, pulling her to him. Donna buried her face in the Time Lord's neck, hand clutching the lapels of his suit jacket as she cried. The Doctor simply wrapped his arms around his best friend, holding her to him and gently rocking them back and forth as her grief overtook her.

After a while, her sobs weakened, dissolving into a sniffle or two. She was still shaking, but it was weaker than before, and her grip on his lapel had loosened. Sniffing, she mumbled something into his shoulder, and he frowned.

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice quiet. He could tell she was embarrassed - after all, he had never seen her cry before. It was very startling, seeing his Donna like this, weak even though she didn't want to be. Her usually fiery, sarcastic attitude was broken, her guards were down, and he could tell she felt vulnerable. He tightened his hold on her, dropping a kiss into her hair.

"Don't be. You can't always be fine, Donna." He tried to reprimand her, but it came out softly, more chiding than reprimanding.

"You are," she muttered, and he had to stop himself from laughing when he heard her surly tone.

"Yes, but I'm a Time Lord."

"Implying that humans are weaker and never fine, eh?" He was pleased to see some of her fire had returned, but it wasn't nearly enough to convince him that she was going to be alright.

"No, just implying that humans can't always be fine."

"I'll bet you aren't always fine, are you, Doctor? You have your moments when you're not fine, just like the rest of us. What makes you better than us?"

The Doctor had nothing to say to this. She was right - he wasn't always fine. What about her last statement, though? How was he any better than them? He lied. He had stolen before. He had cheated once on an Academy exam. He had murdered. How was he any better than the human race? What really set him apart from them, other than his second heart and respiratory bypass?

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Can't seem to shut my gob, eh?"

"No, Donna, it's just -"

"No wonder we skipped around a lot. He probably didn't want to be around me."

"Who?"

"Lee."

"Lee from the Library?"

"Yeah."

He frowned, knowing that he'd probably end up hurting his friend, but he had to ask.

"Donna, what happened in the Library?"

She sniffed, pulling away from him before answering.

"Well, I was in this hospital - recovery, they said. Well, when I was on a walk with Doctor Moon, we met this bloke called Lee. Awful stutter, but he seemed genuinely infatuated with me. To be honest, I was rather fond of him too. Before I knew it, we were married. Nothing ever...happened." She sniffed again, wiping her eyes before continuing.

"Before long, there were two children. Joshua and Ella. They were so...real. They were adorable - and smart, too. Mustn't have been mine, though, if they were bright. Anyway, I took them to school, took them to the park to play with their friends, fixed them dinner, read them stories, and tucked them in at night. I cared for them. I loved them. Then, when we were going to the park one day, I noticed things were just...skipping around.

"Then, I saw Miss Evangelista. Well, not Miss Evangelista exactly - apparently, when she was being...downloaded, something had shifter, and her IQ was tremendous, but she lost all her beauty. Very fairy tale-ish. Anyway, she told me that it wasn't real. Joshua, Ella, Lee, all of it. Nothing was real. I didn't want to believe her, of course - that was my life. My family. I loved them. That night, when I was tucking them in, Ella asked me if they would disappear if I blinked. I told them that I wouldn't blink ever again if I had to, just so I could keep them. She smiled, but when I turned to tuck Joshua in, he was gone. I turned back to Ella, and she was gone too. Both of them were gone." A few tears made their way down her cheeks as she spoke of this.

"No matter what I did, how loud I screamed, or how hard I cried, they didn't come back. Then, Lee came home, and he hugged me and told me that we'd find them. Then, everything started going all white, and he started slipping away. I tried grabbing him, but he just...got sucked away. I promised him that I'd find him, but I never did. I couldn't even save him properly!"

Enfolding her into his arms, he held her, squeezing his eyes shut as she tried to regain her composure. Her loss of Lee reminded him so much of his loss of Rose. Perhaps there were similarities between the two. Rose was far from his mind - or his hearts, rather - as his friend pulled away and looked him in the eye.

"You probably think I'm daft now, don't you?" She said softly, looking down.

"Daft? No. Human? Yes. You know what I think, Donna? I think you're wrong. First of all, you, Donna Noble, are brilliant. Brilliant and ginger. Secondly, it's not your fault you couldn't find Lee. Perhaps he didn't really exist? That doesn't make it any better, I know, but if he didn't exist in reality, how in the world could you blame yourself for not finding him?" He reached over, cupping her cheek with his hand. "You, Donna Noble, are brilliant, and lovely, and amazing. Whoever doesn't love you is absolutely daft."

He could plainly see the fear etched into her features, and he started to move away, but she moved her hand up to hold his to her face.

"Doctor...I just don't think I can right now. Not after Lee. Not this soon." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand, and he smiled at her, understanding. It had been that way with Martha, even though he didn't feel the same way about her.

"I understand, Donna. And when you're ready, I'll be here."

"Always?"

"Always."

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><p><strong>Right, so as I read over this, I realize it's absolute rubbish, and I should probably chuck it in the bin. But, I can't bring myself to do it, so you'll just have to scroll down to the end and tell me how horrible it was xD Anyway, if you know Bon Jovi, you'll get the "Always" part of the title. If you don't know Bon Jovi...then you've been horribly, terribly deprived, and you should go Youtube them right now. Anyway, enough of my rambling - I'll leave you to your reviewing now. In the words of 10, "Allons-y!" <strong>


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